i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
