And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
