We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
