I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
