Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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