Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
