stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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