i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
