just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
