The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
last night I used snow as a chaser
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
