I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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