just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
