Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
