she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize