she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I lost the right to judge tonight
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
