We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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