Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
