Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
