I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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