He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
