playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
