I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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