I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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