Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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