this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My feet surprised me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
