You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
