I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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