You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
