ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
