dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
