I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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