no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
