I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
