wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize