Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
