He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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