We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
