My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
