the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
