If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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