just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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