I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize