FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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