So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
