More tranny stories later!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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