Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
