i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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