Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
