awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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