my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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