Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
