Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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