I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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