Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
