If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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