Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
two words...techno handjob
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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